Year in review
2 July 2014
From Twitter, between January 1 and December 21, 2013. Question for the day: how do you archive & resurrect experience of the digital over time?
My sister at breakfast: “Do you know what the German word for birth control is? ANTIBABYPILLEN.”
4 January, 3:44 p.m.
On the Difficulties of Recollecting the Plots of Novels One Has Partly Read While Drunk. #unwrittenessays
10 January, 12:48 a.m.
“…but those who believe, that Abel lived an hundred and twenty nine Years, think it improbable he should die a Batchelor.”
10 January, 1:06 a.m.
“If you put front vowels in your language, nobody will take it seriously as a language of Orcs.”
11 January, 4:47 p.m.
Tarantino films that feature scenes in which characters literally give each other acting lessons: Django Unchained, Reservoir Dogs.
17 January, 1:28 a.m.
“There you are, like butter in sunshine.” Martin Luther insult randomizer: http://ergofabulous.org/luther/
20 January, 12:50 p.m.
RT: Thank God for technology. Before Twitter, I just used to go up to strangers and whisper in their ears. @tejucole
26 January, 1:42 p.m.
♥ A guest is like rain: when he lingers on, he becomes a nuisance = “A gast iz vi regen az er doiert tsu lang, vert er a last” @YiddishProject
4 February, 7:20 p.m.
M/F/K: Thanksgiving; Arbor Day; Valentine’s.
11 February, 7:52 p.m.
Drunk Italian smoking out of a cab window pulls up next to my cab at a light, calls me “Giuseppe,” gives me a pink felt heart. #Valentine’s
15 February, 12:51 a.m.
♥ I imagine that being a small town private investigator in 2013 is about 50% googling things for older people @tanlines
18 February, 7:58 p.m.
“If, after a second highball, it brought tears to his eyes, he would recommend publication.”
6 March, 3:43 p.m.
I just spent sixty American dollars on bacon.
9 March, 2:09 p.m.
Supercut of characters at literal crossroads.
21 March, 3:23 p.m.
Movies I’ve seen in the last 24 hours that quote MOBY-DICK: Wrath of Khan, Heathers.
27 March, 1:14 a.m.
Hipsters serve the same social function as medieval witches. I don’t believe in either.
28 March, 12:21 a.m.
con’t. Sure, that old woman grows herbs and rides a fixed-gear bicycle, but she is not the reason your crops failed.
28 March, 12:23 a.m.
“What harm could she do to us that we haven’t done to each other a hundred times over?” Cersei & Robert: the Mountain Goats’ Alpha Couple.
30 March, 12:31 a.m.
Number of Apple devices in this coffeeshop: 18. Non-Apple devices: 0. Humans: 12.
8 April, 2:52 p.m.
I worry that some of the decisions I make when I go to read in a café are basically the equivalent of putting on make-up to go to the gym.
11 April, 4:51 p.m.
Pitch: Sally Draper & Anya Stark team up, go West, rob trains, end up in Mexico.
15 April, 12:22 p.m.
♥ Boston v. avenged sevenfold: more amazing twitter anthropology from @brendlewhat pic.twitter.com/e9YqoZ5fOE @BananaKarenina
16 April, 11:20 a.m.
“At home, of course, the worst that happens is that the vegetarian of the party is eating his nut cutlet.” Wine book, c. 1974.
24 April, 3:59 p.m.
Never ask Xeno to cut your birthday cake. —@alecturnbull
27 April, 9:07 p.m.
♥ “We could actually find a shark and be on top of a shark and he could be on our team.” @PreschoolGems
6 May, 12:36 p.m.
“Levack doesn’t explain how anyone unathletic enough to fail in self-fellatio could succeed at self-sodomy.” The LRB lacks imagination.
8 May, 9:40 a.m.
Rabbit hole: FINNEGANS WAKE translations. Japanese, German, French, Italian, Polish (FINNEGANÓW TREN)… No Spanish, though.
8 May, 10:32 a.m.
“Finn, again! Take. Bussoftlhee, mememormee!” becomes “Finn, necken! Nimm. Dochlaife, rinnerum!”
8 May, 10:34 a.m.
Or, “Finn, fangan! Er macht’s. Abbasamteidsanft, vergüßt memeimemamomich!” Depending.
8 May, 10:44 a.m.
“He addle liddle phifie Annie ugged the little craythur” becomes “Et possé-dait une vedite femmefile Annie serait la dite craiethure.”
8 May, 11:00 a.m.
♥ Yes please! MT @wmarybeard Maybe people of ancient Pompeii weren’t “just like us.” http://bit.ly/170s7UJ A plea to recapture the weirdness! @CapitolClio
RT: Holy crap, it’s true! Link. @adamkotsko
30 May, 10:23 a.m.
RT: YOU LITERALLY CAN CATCH MORE FLIES WITH VINEGAR THAN WITH HONEY. @adamkotsko
30 May, 10:24 a.m.
♥ “Bold and irreverent” are not words I would ever use to describe textiles but whatever Anthropologie your the multi-million dollar company. @ThatSusanBurke
6 June, 3:10 p.m.
“If I don’t love you baby/ Grits ain’t grocery/ Eggs ain’t poultry/ And Mona Lisa was a man.” Little Milton, 1972, anticipates art history.
18 July, 11:33 p.m.
♥ Most awesome Times correction ever: “A picture caption with an earlier version of this article misspelled the given name of Adolf Hitler.” @Shteyngart
18 June, 11:47 a.m.
♥ @pfbvan @tejucole Nie moj cyrk, nie moje malpy. Polish saying, not my circus, not my monkey. Literally, not my problem. @beentsy
21 June, 5:21 p.m.
♥ “All my teachers have been women. Though several men have taken me aside for an hour to tell me things they know.” —Don Paterson @tejucole
7 July, 8:54 a.m.
♥ La cultura hipster ha sido descrita como un «crisol mutante y transatlántico de estilos y gustos comportamientos» Christian Lorentzen @centurion_diego
22 July, 12:24 p.m.
♥ When I was 5, my mom took me to THE ADVENTURES OF BARON MUNCHAUSEN. For years, I thought it was a dream I had. No one I knew had heard of it @LandonTweetsNow
26 July, 2:12 p.m.
RT: A second person narrator tells you you walked into a bar. @neinquarterly
2 August, 12:49 p.m.
♥ Nazi mass murder of mentally ill is an open secret in Germany; towns near asylums have been covered in crematorium ash containing human hair @RealTimeWWII
3 August, 3:20 p.m.
RT: Time is a weight on our shoulders constantly threatening to pull us into madness. That’s what Flavor Flav’s about. @80sDonDraper
13 August, 1:41 p.m.
♥ Today is Dorothy Parker and Ray Bradbury’s birthday. Let’s all get drunk and steal a rocket ship. @zhandlen
22 August, 10:52 a.m.
On our fourth bottle of wine, we find that YouTube accordionists LOVE to play Bach’s toccata and fugue in D minor.
25 August, 10:49 p.m.
Minimum number of books about the newspaper business titled BEHIND THE FRONT PAGE: 5
28 August, 10:41 a.m.
“It possessed a subtle saltiness that rippled down my throat.” Um, I guess tell me more about this wine, NYT.
29 August, 12:35 p.m.
RT: In New York, you never tweeted out of boredom, only careerism, self-promotion, and occasionally absent-minded trolling. @xlorentzen
5 September, 5:53 p.m.
1. Pick one adjective: ACTIVE, BLACK, FRIENDLY, MORNING, REAL, WOODEN.
2. Pick one noun: BEACH, BEAR, BIRDS, BONES, GHOST, HOUSE, MOON, WAVES.
5 September, 1:07 a.m.
(Any singular noun can also be your adjective. Most words beginning in ‘P’, such as PEARL, PORCELAIN, or PLANTS, are also permitted.)
5 September, 1:08 a.m.
3. Congratulations! You’ve just become a band.
5 September, 1:09 a.m.
♥ Now I’m drinking a Corona and it tastes like the spit sample a phoenix sends away in the mail to see if the sun is his real dad @TriciaLockwood
19 September, 11:30 p.m.
“You have astigmatism?” “I’m fuckin blind!” “Oh yeah? Try THESE on.” Overheard in East Williamsburg bars.
21 September, 7:31 p.m.
“She lives in Bushwick.” “Oh! I hear that’s *up-and-coming*.” [laughter] Overheard in East Williamsburg bars.
21 September, 7:33 p.m.
♥ All those girls in yoga pants who are obsessed with pumpkin spice lattes probably have their own fall-themed fight club. @aspaul
15 October, 10:37 a.m.
♥ I just thought there should be…less of it. @MFAworkshop
21 October, 4:42 p.m.
Wines that I’m excited about: país + muscat de Alexandria rosé from Itata.
27 October, 8:40 p.m.
Wines that I’m excited about: sweet red mandilaria from Rhodes.
27 October, 11:13 p.m.
Wines that I’m excited about: Cretan kotisfali-syrah blends.
27 October, 11:19 p.m.
“I love the texture of the raw heart, soft and tender. People think it will be tough, but it is not at all.”
1 November, 11:32 p.m.
Wine & art both struggle to reconcile art & commerce. Damien Herst & Screaming Eagle are the same.
8 November, 10:19 p.m.
♥ That is literally the only possible format of a movie anymore — the messianic quest decked out in bits of some old fictional universe. @adamkotsko
10 November, 2:58 p.m.
♥ “In a world… that’s vaguely familiar to you from some old TV show… only one man… can I don’t know, save everything or whatever…” @adamkotsko
10 November, 2:54 p.m.
♥ A darker grittier Sex and the City reboot, where they have to stop a terrorist plot to blow up Mr. Big’s office. Then it turns out he’s evil @adamkotsko
10 November, 2:52 p.m.
♥ A darker, grittier Obama reboot where it turns out he has a horrifying scheme to rule the world with flying killer robots. @adamkotsko
10November, 2:51 p.m.
Wines that I’m excited about: varietally-labeled Merlot Blanc from Tincino.
17 November, 12:54 p.m.
Wines that I’m excited about: Neuchâtel gewürtztraminer.
18 November, 1:11 a.m.
Wines that I’m excited about: 100% durize from the Vaud.
18 November, 1:28 a.m.
It’s the season to argue about what a perfect varietal expression of Zinfandel would entail.
27 November, 2:28 a.m.
♥ None of the dogs who lost at the dog show know they lost or that they’re at a dog show or that they’re dogs. @ariscott
28 November, 1:04 p.m.
“It’s like the cocaine of spirits.” —@chelseakaiser, of tequila.
28 November, 1:10 p.m
♥ Dystopian lit is: “what if the government got so powerful that all the bad stuff that’s already happening ALSO HAPPENED TO WHITE PEOPLE?” @fqubedejb
18 December, 8:15 a.m.
♥ “The Brazilian paratroopers’ technique for warding off animals was to throw grenades into the rainforest at random” http://thenewinquiry.com/features/field-notes/ @newinquiry
18 December, 5:05 p.m.
RT: Millions of people are trapped everyday across the galaxy. Please RT to raise awareness. @admiralackbar
21 December, 9:59 p.m.